The Year I Finally Went to an Awards Do Sober

Leaving by 10:30pm, facing old memories and learning what social tiredness feels like without the blur of alcohol

When I think back to how I used to behave at awards events, it honestly feels like I’m watching someone else, trying to hold it all together while drinking A LOT of booze.

I still remember my very first awards night where I managed to knock a bottle of red wine all over the white tablecloth and then, in a stroke of genius, poured a bottle of white wine on it to “clean it up.” Spoiler: it didn’t clean anything.

That night, I stayed at a friend’s flat (completely unplanned), woke up feeling horrific, got on a bus to work, panicked halfway there, got off at King’s Cross and went home. A full adult woman simply aborting mission!

And then there was another awards night; the one that still makes my stomach flip. I got myself into a situation I’m still ashamed of. Something I can barely speak about. I’ve only ever told one person the full story. It was the kind of thing that happens when you’ve consumed far more alcohol than your body or brain can process and absolutely nothing good comes from it.

There were good memories too, to be fair. I actually got together with my husband at an awards after-party (yes, that’s me pictured doing “rockeoke” that very night!). Those events were insane though. They’d start at midday with drinks, then more drinks at the ceremony, then dinner (with more drinks), then the after-party, then the after-after-party. The kind of day where “pacing yourself” actually meant hold it together for as long as humanly possible.

And oh, the “rules” I gave myself.

• No champagne.

• Water between drinks.

• No shots.

• Don’t mix drinks.

• Beer before wine feel fine; wine before beer feel queer.

• Hangover cures ready on the bedside table.

• Clear diary the next day so I could hide under a duvet.

  
  

It was all so exhausting. I worked harder managing my drinking than I did at the actual events!

So, what was it like being at an awards do sober recently? It was brilliant. I paid attention to the awards, made new connections, remembered conversations, I left when I wanted to AND the biggest and best thing - no hangover the next day! I was shattered though and had a sore throat from shouting to be heard above the noise. Some things never change!

If you’re sober-curious or early in your journey and you’re worried about going to events like these, especially now it’s December (but let’s face it there’s always something), I get it. But I promise you that being sober and present is a superpower. One that might feels a bit shaky at first but becomes stronger every time you choose yourself.