The Sunday Sober Stories

From decades in hospitality and wine to freedom, healing and self-trust, Jo’s sober journey is one of courage, resilience and hope

Now living in France, Jo Clarke (La Guérisseuse Verte on Instagram - The Green Healer) has been alcohol-free since 28th December 2023. After years working in bars, hospitality and sommellerie, alcohol was deeply embedded in her life and identity. What started young slowly became physical dependence anxiety and a point where Jo couldn’t see a way out.

Through motherhood, profound life upheaval and rebuilding from the ground up, Jo chose sobriety and in doing so rediscovered confidence, creativity, and a deep sense of freedom. Her story is a powerful reminder that it’s never too late to change and that life without alcohol can be lighter, calmer and full of possibility.

1. Can you tell us a little about what your relationship with alcohol used to look like?

   
   

I drank from around 14 on the park with my mates and then, from aged 15, I was independent and so had no parental boundaries around going out etc. I was into the vodka before going out up until about 18, then went abroad to work as a bartender. I went to uni at 23 but I was really focused on getting my degree so my drinking wasn’t always the main focus.

It ramped up when I was around 28 and I worked in Brighton in bars, and drugs and alcohol were a big part of the bar scene. Hair of the dog became a main staple of most days and it carried on like that for three years.

I went back to live in France in 2010 and worked in hospitality and then obtained my Diploma in Sommellerie, which ensured access to wine all the time. I went on this career path to the Caribbean in 2013 and my drinking became even more problematic; I was definitely physically dependent at this point and the drunken stupors I used to get in got me a reputation and not a good one.

I eventually had my first child at 39 and then my second at 42 and I thought that motherhood would calm me down a bit. It didn’t. I was drinking around a bottle and a half a day and more on the weekend, and my anxiety and self disgust was at an all time high. I literally wanted to die and couldn’t see a way out. Until I did!

2. What was your “enough is enough” moment — or did it happen more gradually for you?

It happened gradually as I had so many rock bottoms but the straw that broke the alcoholic back was on Mother’s Day 2023 when I left my partner, the father of my children. He was a huge enabler and a drinker too, and after attempting several times to cut down he encouraged me to keep on it. He has anger issues, so I left and stayed in a hostel for four months with my children waiting for social housing to become available. I went cold turkey for a month and then drank on a few occasions, which left me feeling awful, and so I spontaneously stopped after Christmas 2023.

3. What were your biggest fears about stopping drinking? And did any of them come true?

   
   

Being boring, not being able to relax without it, having difficulty speaking to people on a night out, FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). NONE of it came true!

4. How did the people around you react when you decided to stop drinking?

   
   

I was literally on my own and was very isolated, as we had been placed in a hostel in a city I didn’t know, but eventually when I saw people I used to know people weren’t really surprised. But they hadn’t really known the extent of my addiction either.

5. What surprised you the most about sobriety — good or bad?

   
   

That I’m much more confident without it, that I’m actually quite a creative person, that I have so much potential. The bad is how much it is in your face on TV, adverts, etc, knowing now what I know about the effects of alcohol and the body etc. It makes me angry that it’s still so readily available.

6. What’s been the most helpful thing in staying sober (tool, mindset, habit, or support)?

   
   

Quit lit, podcasts, meditation, exercise, rest, therapy and self compassion.

7. Have your social life and relationships changed since becoming alcohol-free? If so, how?

   
   

As I have had to start again in a new town, all the people I know have only ever known me alcohol free, so it’s very easy. My friends back in the UK don’t have a problem with it as they know it’s so important to me.

8. What does self-care look like for you now that you’re not drinking?

   
   

Hot baths, exercise, long walks in nature, breath work, and being vulnerable and expressing my feelings so I don’t bottle them up like before.

9. If you could go back and speak to yourself in those early days, what would you say?

   
   

It will get better, rest and look after yourself. This is the best thing you are going to do for yourself and your children and you will never, ever, regret it.

10. What’s one thing you want other women to know about life without alcohol?

That it is so freeing to take this thing out that takes so much. You will feel liberated and light and start to remember that life is an adventure and anything is possible!