The Sunday Sober Stories

After years of chasing confidence at the bottom of a glass, Emma Bond discovered that the real magic was in showing up fully; for herself, for her family and for the life she truly wanted

This week, I’m so excited to introduce you to Emma Bond, who has been alcohol-free since 1st January, 2023. Emma’s story is full of honesty, strength, grief, growth and the kind of self-awareness that so many women will see themselves in.

Her journey started young, carried her through motherhood, loss and a whole lot of self-discovery and today, she’s showing what life can look like when you choose presence over “pretend confidence,” joy over hangovers and real connection over the old party persona.

Emma’s full story is below and it’s a powerful one. 💛

1. Can you tell us a little about what your relationship with alcohol used to look like?

I started drinking at 15, and from then on drank to get legless. I had always felt insecure about myself, such low self esteem, and when I discovered drinking it felt like a super power that made all those insecurities go away. I developed a persona for myself as a party girl. But as the years went on as well as the fun times I also had the shame, anxiety, health issues and a sense of not knowing who I really was on a night out if I wasn’t drunk. Fast forward to my 30s and I’m a mum of two. Sometimes having wine to make the bedtimes easier, but not that often. I realised that that wasn’t a good spot to be in, so cut out all mid week drinking, and a lot of weekends, but still found myself getting black out drunk when there was a night out or party planned.

2. What was your “enough is enough” moment — or did it happen more gradually for you?

I gradually cut down, but realised that I still was unable to moderate when I did. And I hated myself after it. I think I played in to the party persona when I was drunk, but it didn’t feel authentically me. And it made me feel so sick, my IBS was excruciating and I hated hangovers with small kids. I felt such shame. I researched sobriety on and off for a few years before finally doing dry Jan in 2020 and it went in for 2.5 years. The covid lockdowns helped me as my drinking was always due to social anxiety. I didn’t drink much at home. Truth be told, I didn’t even really like the taste much and found wine culture pretty pretentious, so it wasn’t that hard when home for months on end. My Mum was diagnosed with a brain tumour in July 2021, and I cared for her before she died in October 2021. I remember being so grateful I was sober in those final months with her, caring for her. I was able to be 100% present. But the following summer, after the grief of losing Mum and finally going out again, I told myself maybe I could finally moderate and started having the odd drink. But within months I realised this was a lie after several boozy nights of drinking and decided enough was enough in January 2023. I haven’t looked back.

3. What were your biggest fears about stopping drinking? And did any of them come true?

That I would be dull. That my friends wouldn’t want to spend time with me. Not knowing who I was socially without drink. Well, dull is subjective isn’t it. And I’m really happy, happier than ever. A few people don’t invite me out as much - but I think that says more about their opinions than mine. And to be honest, i don’t like to be out past 9pm anyway!

4. How did the people around you react when you decided to stop drinking?

My husband and kids are so proud. I met Pete at Uni and I think he has done his time of picking me up and putting me to bed. My close friends have been brilliant too and we reconnect in so many other ways now. I think my friendships are better and more authentic without drink.

I have had some odd comments from a few family members - but again, I don’t think that’s my issue. When I did my first sober stint it bothered me, but second time around I’m stronger and don’t care. Most people are used to it now.

5. What surprised you the most about sobriety — good or bad?

Good - besides meeting my husband and then having my kids, it’s the best decision of my life.

Bad - when you realise how much control alcohol has on our culture and society. The lies we have been told. It does feel like the blinkers are off when you first get going. But that gets easier.

6. What’s been the most helpful thing in staying sober (tool, mindset, habit, or support)?

Joining a sober support group and making community. I am not as active as I once was, but finding other sober people is essential.

Discovering your why. Why you started in the first place, what it was providing? In my case I have realised I don’t like en masse socialising. I feel really uncomfortable in that space and it was a crutch. Once you know that you can start to find other ways to cope that are healthier and more fulfilling.

7. Have your social life and relationships changed since becoming alcohol-free? If so, how?

The relationships that matter are better than ever.

I don’t go out as much and I feel tired in the evening quicker. But there is no hangover the next day so I will take that.

8. What does self-care look like for you now that you’re not drinking?

Hot chocolate, having a long bath, walking my dog, going to the gym with my teenage son, a good series with my daughter, gardening, laughing with friends, reading a good book. I have been retraining to be a counsellor since going sober and I absolutely love it! Doing something I love and am passionate about it self-care.

And my lovely husband has started making kombucha and other fermented drinks and we have those together at 6pm after work and before the evening chaos. A drink ritual doesn’t have to include booze.

9. If you could go back and speak to yourself in those early days, what would you say?

You’ve got this! And be vulnerable and do the hard work. It’s worth it.

10. What’s one thing you want other women to know about life without alcohol?

There is so much more joy in life without alcohol.

And your peri-menopause symptoms aren’t as bad to boot! Result!