Sobriety doesn’t suddenly make everything perfect
Life still continues, but it’s a lot easier to navigate challenging times when you’re sober
I’m currently writing this by the pool on holiday in Portugal. After certain events this year, it felt like we really needed a nice family holiday and we were all REALLY looking forward to it.
However, all has not gone to plan.
We arrived on Saturday afternoon and by the early hours of Monday my youngest son clearly had a stomach bug and my anxiety went through the roof. What was I going to do?
The following night, a good night’s sleep helped a great deal. Everyone was feeling better. Then that night my eldest son was ill.
But my anxiety wasn’t nearly as bad this time. “I’ve got this,” I thought. And when I didn’t, my wonderful husband did. While lying awake at 2.30am that night, my husband turned to me and said, “Thank God you’re sober and I’ve only had two drinks.”
Before I got sober, things were VERY different. We’d rinse the all-inclusive offerings and, quite frankly, I’m embarrassed to completely share some of the things that happened while I was on holiday with my kids.
What on earth was I thinking?
Their health and wellbeing - “It’s my job to look after your mind and body,” I frequently tell them - and yet all I cared about was myself. I find that really hard to think about now.
It’s not the first time we’ve had bad luck on holiday either. My husband somehow contracted viral meningitis when the kids were small and I had to holiday in Greece with them by myself. The memories of that holiday weren’t great.
And the thing I’m least proud of is starting drinking after lunchtime, as I usually would, while my son napped on a sun lounger. Then helping myself to half a carafe of wine (or two) during dinner instead of waiting for the waiters to serve me.
The shame.
For those of you reading this who don’t have children yet, or have young children, and are wondering whether drinking really affects your life that much, please don’t wait until something goes wrong to find out.
You don’t have to have a rock bottom. You don’t have to have a huge problem with alcohol. You can simply decide that you want something different.
Join a sober community like The Sober Club or drop me a message and I can help you start living instead of existing. Because we can do hard things and they’re a lot less hard when you’re sober.
Today I’ve pretty much had a day to myself, reading my book on and off while checking everyone’s okay inside watching a movie. And do you know what? I’ve hated it.
I thought some “me time” would be great, but not like this.
So I’ve been planning lots of nice things we can do at home while vowing to never, ever go on holiday again!
Update: We got home okay and are slowly recovering...
And despite everything, I’m really grateful I got through it sober.
As always, if you’re finding it hard to moderate this summer and have wish you could come back from holiday feeling refreshed, you can email me here: ali@alipaynecoaching.com
