How to Handle Social Pressure When You Don't Drink

Because saying “no thanks” should be enough but sometimes it isn’t

You’ve decided to take a break from alcohol. You feel good about it. Maybe even a little proud. And then it happens. You’re out with friends, or at a family gathering and someone says: “Go on, just one won’t hurt” or “You’re no fun anymore” and the classic question: “Are you pregnant?”

The social pressure can be one of the hardest parts of changing your drinking. Not the cravings, not the habits but the comments. And it can catch you off guard if you’re not prepared.

I remember my first night out sober with my work colleagues. I was known for enjoying a drink and I felt SO AWKWARD not drinking. We started out having a meal, where of course it was 2 for 1 on drinks. Even though I had done all the prep and ordered a mocktail, I felt really uncomfortable and had to sit on my hands at one point! But once I got over my initial feelings of discomfort, the evening was fine and I even went out after the meal for drinks in a bar.

I also stayed in touch with my sober group throughout the night and messaged to let them know how it was going and how I was feeling. Their support was so welcome!

But when someone questions why you’re not drinking, most of the time, it’s not really about you. When someone pushes you to drink, it usually says more about their own relationship with alcohol than yours.

This could be because they feel uncomfortable about their own drinking; they don’t like change in the group dynamic; they think fun = alcohol and your choice challenges that belief.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation, but it can help to have a few lines ready. I found in the early days something short and simple worked to close down that line of conversation such as: “I’m not drinking right now and feel great” or when I was more confident in my sobriety: “My drinking days are done”. Now? I actually say: “I don’t drink because I have no off switch”.

If the conversation lingers, change the subject: you could ask about their work, kids, holiday plans, bring up a funny story or memory or just offer to grab someone else a drink. Redirecting keeps you in control without having to defend yourself.

Here are some practical tips to reduce pressure:

Arrive with a plan. Decide beforehand what you’ll say if asked and what you’re going to drink (check with the venue the AF options beforehand).

Have your AF drink ready. People are less likely to offer if you’ve already got something in your hand.

Have an exit strategy: Leave early if you need to. Protecting your peace is more important than proving a point.

Saying no to alcohol isn’t about being awkward, difficult, or “boring.” It’s about protecting the version of you that you’re growing into; the one who feels calmer, clearer, and more in control.

Social pressure can be tough, but every time you hold your ground, you strengthen your confidence. And the more you do it, the less people question it.

Soon not drinking will just be part of who you are and nobody will bat an eyelid.