7 Things I Did That Helped Me Stay Sober

Three and a half years sober, I look back at my journal and the things that helped me navigate those first few months without alcohol

When you make the decision to stop drinking, there’s no quick fix, but these seven things made a huge difference to me and they might help you too, it’s a whole lot easier than trying to white knuckle it, that’s for sure.

I’ve been trying to remember what things were like when I was still drinking and what it was like when I first got sober as now, at three and a half years sober, it seems like a long time ago.

To jog my memory, I recently revisited the first few months of my journal and it was a sad and happy experience. So much has changed since then; my mum passed away, we’ve moved house, my cat died and I’ve been made redundant. Twice. But re-reading my journal helped me to remember the things I did in early sobriety so that I could stick with it, no matter what life threw at me. I hope these help you too.

1. I told someone close to me

In my instance, this was my husband. He was very supportive and even stopped drinking for six weeks to support me. That didn’t last, but it was appreciated at the time.

2. I turned up every week for online meetings

I learned that the opposite of addiction is connection. Hearing what other women were going through and sharing my experience was invaluable. My journal made me notice how unsure of myself I was at first though: “Shared in the Thrive group on Zoom for the first time. Wondered if I was too upbeat and that putting it out there meant I would need to commit to the positive now I’ve said it.” I wish I could give that person a hug. I remember being so nervous, but I still showed up.

3. I put in “the work”

These are the three things I swear by and recommend a little of every day. Reading quit lit. listening to sober podcasts. Journalling. I wrote in my journal: “Realised that sobriety and practising it is like physio – you have to do the work to see the benefits.” I was very right!

4. I went into hibernation

Where possible I pared down my social life. It just meant I could focus on my sobriety and working on myself instead of putting myself in potentially triggering situations. Now I actually prefer going out early and coming home early. But I do still enjoy the odd “proper” night out!

5. I learned to sit with uncomfortable feelings

Stopping drinking is the easy part. It’s what it uncovers and what you then have to deal with that’s the challenging part. It’s not unmanageable, but after masking for so many years, it’s inevitable. Here’s what I said in my journal: “It will be hard to unpack everything and come to terms with things I’ve done in the past. I need to remember I’m a good person who lost her way.”

6. I ate all the food

Not drinking, I let myself eat what I wanted to. My sober coach had the “eat and drink what you want so long as it’s not alcohol” approach. And I agreed!

7. I learned that life still goes on

While I experienced the highs that sobriety brings (hello pink cloud!) there were also some lows. I’ve been through some difficult life events since being sober. But throughout everything that’s happened, I’ve always been grateful that I was sober as I know that things would’ve been waaaaay worse if I’d been drinking.

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Looking back at those early journal entries, I wish I could tell that version of myself how much better life would become. Not because everything would be perfect, because it certainly hasn’t been, but because I’d learn to deal with whatever life threw at me without reaching for a glass of wine. And that, for me, has been one of the greatest gifts of sobriety.

If you’re ready to explore what life looks and feels like without hangovers, drop me an email ali@alipaynecoaching.com